Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Weird Dreams Volume 1

Often times, my dreams aren't long enough to warrant their own post so I'll start compiling them and releasing them in batches.

Man about town
I was recently hired as the mayor/hotel manager/doctor/police of a very small town. I only remember a few things. First was the fire that destroyed several homes. I had to evacuate people during that. Second was that I was having difficulty figuring out how to order porn for one of the guests at the hotel. The last thing was that I had apparently hurt my butt and when I went to the hospital for work the next day I passed out when another doctor (the mean female doctor from the final seasons of Scrubs) rubbed some stuff down my buttcrack because it was too tingly. So that was weird.

New Job
I was starting my first day working as a teacher. I had some trouble making my way to the school where I was supposed to be working and I had no idea which room was mine and didn't know anything about the layout of the school or the other teachers. I wandered around the school for a long time looking for a door with my name on it but never found one. I finally made my way to the administrator's office and learned that I would be teaching math in night school (a great disgrace).

Prison Escape
In this dream, I was a goblin who was imprisoned in some sort of prison for extraordinary criminals, and my name was Gheed (which, upon looking it up now, is a character in Diablo). Somehow I had gotten my hands on some gold that multiplied when you touched it, like in Bellatrix Lestrange's vault in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. After rounding up a large portion of the gold and putting it in a sack, I made my move to escape. The security was actually quite laughable. The building was horribly constructed and I was able to make my way down a stairwell near my cell. Once I reached the bottom I went through the door and was in the laundry area. The window was broken and I was able to remove the glass and shoot the guard outside, because I apparently had a gun with me. I ran out towards the gate and the rest of the gang that I belonged to was there to greet me and save me. I ran to them and handed the gold over to the leader, who was quite like Jabba the Hutt, and joined my friends and escaped.

Hopefully my stress from feeling lost at work will give me some awesome dreams.